BADGROOVE has a new home: You should be redirected.

Friday, May 23, 2003
Auf Wiedersehen!!

Au revoir, adios, aloha...etc

I am outta here very very soon. I will be back no later than June 2nd...but probably sooner...but I have to be back on the I have to work...I will NOT have my iBook with me on I won't update from the road.

Could you do me two favors?

1.Email me. I would love nothing more to come back to a buncha emails...

2. Try some of these reads while I am gone...but remember to come back ok???





Place to Stand


posted by Amy on 5/23/2003 05:33:00 PM | link

BADGROOVE has a new home: You should be redirected.

Mostly for me...but you might want to take a look

I am going on vacation Disneyland and then somewhere else possibly...let's just say I was originally suppose to be going on the annual vegas pilgrimage but that was called off on account of the fact that BFM was just there making an offer on a house there...anyway...we are going to disneyland Saturday and Sunday...and then I think we are going somewhere else but I am not sure where...because BFM told me what to pack (as she is making the plans because disneyland is with her family-parents and bro)...and it is far to many clothes for return home on Monday...unless she thinks I am going to soil my clothes at a rapid rate. I have a feeling we may be spending some time in Santa Barbara...I love Santa Barbara...but we'll see....anyways...I present to you my things to do before I leave tomorrow:

Set work voicemail to vacation message.
Set work email to vacation message.
Charge Cell Phone.
Charge both batteries for my digital camera.
Go to bank and get money.
Transfer $135.00 worth of "just in case money" to my checking account.
Do last minute laundry.
Remember to pack commonly forgotten things like: Deoderant, Brush, Contact Lense solution and drops, brain.
Spend quality time with Roxy.
Make sure my parents know where all of Roxy's vet, locator and insurance stuff is...just in case (it seems like everytime I leave the little booger gets sick. Last time it was a bladder infection).
Give BFM my annual pass TONIGHT (in Feb. we got all the way to Soledad until I remembered that I forgot mine and we had to turn around and go back).

Ummm I think that is it...can you think of anything I am forgetting???

posted by Amy on 5/23/2003 04:44:00 PM | link

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Thursday, May 22, 2003
John Deere Green

When I drive to and fro to work I pass through part of the heart of the valley where the lettuce that is in your salad most likely came from. I see lettuce (several varieties), cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, green onions, artichokes, celery, strawberries, and who knows what else, from infancy to grocery store. That is why the area I live in is called the Salad Bowl of the world. I forget that not everyone lives like this- having lived in the area most of my 29 years thus far.

Think you can relate??? Consider these questions:

Have you ever drove behind a produce truck filled with lettuce and have the thick wet leafs hit your windshield with a smack?

Have you ever been late to work because you were behind a tractor going 20 mph in the 55 mph zone?

Have you ever counted five tractors (3 john deeres, one cat, and one of unknown origin) in the road throughout your day - usually impeding traffic somehow.

Have you ever driven over clods of mud bigger than a yugo left behind in the road by the aforementioned tractors and produce trucks.

Have you have driven behind a bus filled with field workers toting porta-potties and see the toliet paper unrolling itself along the way like a contrail behind a jet?

Have you have been driving along nicely only to have your freshly cleaned and water spot free black Rav get pelted by an industrial strength sprinkler? Thus making it water spotted, and then the dirt sticks to it and you are back where you started from?

Have you ever rolled down your windows while the green onions where being harvested because you like the way they smell? (Ok...maybe I am alone on that one).

There is a country song by Joe Diffie called John Deere Green. The tractor I was behind today made me think of it. I like that song...too bad I lost my Joe Diffie cd somewhere at McCarran.

posted by Amy on 5/22/2003 10:38:00 AM | link

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Wednesday, May 21, 2003
Him: a cathartic post

The other night I dreamed about HIM again. I hadn't in a long long time. In this dream he was chasing me and my friend through an enclosed parking garage. I woke up before he caught me. The dream probably had more to do with the fact that I had watched something scary on TV (The Vampires: Los Muertos) than HIM but still...
I had applied for and received a different position within the same company I worked for at the time. It held much more responsibility than my previous job but I was able to keep in contact with the coworkers that I had worked with in the past...only now I had my own office instead of sharing one. wasn't an office but a cubicle...but it had high walls and if I sat on the far counter I could see the ocean...or a sliver of it anyway.

Life was good. I was settling in. There seemed to be little if any awkwardness about my place higher level in the food chain that was this company. I have always taken my lunch at off-skew hours...and back then was no exception. This left me alone on the top floor of the place I worked. Or at the very least...if not alone..only with one or two other people on the whole floor...

He came into my office and asked me how I was adjusting. He sat in my spare chair and smiled. I was completely comfortable. He was older than I by probably 10 -15 years and someone I worked with very closely (one of those whom I shared a workspace with). I had come view him as friend while working with him closely- and we had much in common. I often asked him advice about my car at the time because he use to work for the makers of my car and seemed knowledgeable about the mechanics and it was ailing. I looked up to him- being a single father, working hard, and taking classes all the while to continue his education.

It was lunch time for most of the staff and I was one of the few people there...during a slow period. We continued to chat although I can't remember about what exactly. Mostly I think it was catch up...between my new job and he being out a lot recently I hadn't seen him in awhile. He was friendly with one of the other workers and I remember he wanted us all to get together for a barbecue. I agreed that it would be fun to do.

Then he said "What I want to know come I haven't gotten in your pants yet?"

I can't even begin to explain to you how taken aback I was.

My mine raced.

Was he just kidding?
Maybe I hadn't heard him correctly.
What was going on?
What should I say?

I could feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment and uncomfortableness. I sat there silent and just shrugged.

"I mean seriously...why haven't I gotten in your pants yet?"

Again my mind raced...

What should I say?
What should I do?
I want to leave now!!!
What are you saying to me?
What did I do to bring this on?

"Maybe at the barbecue or maybe we could even go out...or know..." he game me a look, a look that frightened me, a look that made me feel...uncomfortable in my own skin...almost dirty.

Is he going to hurt me?
I am alone up here.
Should I tell someone?
Who would believe me?
My word against his.

DING. The elevator. Thank God.

"Well...I need to go...I am off to pick up my son...I will email you about that barbecue..."

I just nodded and he just left.

I left for lunch half an hour later and told BFM what happened. I mostly told her in case something were to she would know. When she asked me what I was going to do I shrugged. He was someone I would clearly run into again and again. I suddenly felt incredibly unsafe.

I thought about it all night...I considered all my options:

1. Tell someone at work...the building manager, my supervisor, his supervisor,...
2. Tell someone at headquarters.
3. Call in sick and worry about it the next day.
4. Say nothing, do nothing and hope it goes away.

I almost picked three. I was nearly late for work the next day as I hemmed and hawed about whether or not to go to work. I went. I said nothing. I know now that was wrong, but at the time I wasn't able to tell...hell...I haven't even been able to talk about except to one person since it ever happened.

He wasn't at work that was his day off. Luckily. I still felt unsafe though...especially about being upstairs alone at lunch time, about my office, about the world in general. I don't remember running into him ever again after that. He got sick. We were told he had cancer of some internal organ that I don't remember. I felt bad...mostly for his son- who was a nice kid. I gave excuses as to why I couldn't go visit him when he was in the hospital and eventually I stopped hearing about him and tried to forget about him.

Then one day I overheard some people talking at work in the break room.

"Did you get that email from HIM?"
"Yeah, I couldn't believe it man."
"It doesn't surprise me. My cousin was an alcoholic too and faked a major illness to explain his time off of work. It's more common than you would think."
"Yeah...are you going to email him?"
"I dunno...that email is part of the 12 step program you know. You have to take responsibility for your actions..."

I walked back to my desk...I opened my email...but I didn't have any new messages. That made me mad...did I not deserve an apology? That gave away to sadness...again for his son more than anything. Part of me hoped that he was on a drunk....perhaps didn't even remember what he said to me...didn't realize how uncomfortable it made me feel...for a long that I don't have to think about it...or acknowledge it. Part of me hopes he does realize all of it and feels like shit for it. I doubt that's the case. I try not to think about it anymore.

Why I am writing this right now I can't say. I nearly posted it months ago...when I moved from livejournal to blogspot. I had it written out and pasted into blogger. I posted it and them immediately removed it. I chickened out. Then...the morning after the dream I was thinking of something someone said to me in an email...something about it not being about the destination but the journey itself. It made me realize I am a different person a different place...mentally and physically. One lasting effect of this though is that I am not so quick to trust people. Couple that with the shyness that I already makes it hard for me in social situations when I don't know many people. I like to think I would do things differently if this happened again. I would put an immediate stop to the conversation. I would immediate go to either my supervisor or his I should have back then...but hopefully I won't have to do any of this....but then again...I really don't want to think about it any more.

posted by Amy on 5/21/2003 01:54:00 PM | link

BADGROOVE has a new home: You should be redirected.

Apocalypse Yesterday

So yesterday the final apocalypse was avoided by Buffy, the potentials and the scoobies with little damage...Anyanka was sliced in half and Spike was dusted.

It was a bit a of a let down to quote Tess.

In my opinion the episode had some good points. Mostly it was the Buffy and Angel reunion that I enjoyed. They have chemistry on screen and always have. Also...the scene in the high school when they were about to split up to their various posts and Buffy, Xander, Willow, Giles, and Dawn start talking and Buffy says "So what do you guys wanna do tomorrow? I am thinking of shopping." It brings back the Buffy from season one.

However, I felt that an hour was too short to tie up seven seasons. I mean really. The whole woman power thing was a bit forced or so I thought.

There are rumors...of guest appearances on ANGEL (Spike as a different character, Buffy cameos, etc), of spin-offs (Willow and Dawn?). Alas though...Buffy is over and I say...let's let her lie for awhile.

posted by Amy on 5/21/2003 11:51:00 AM | link

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Tuesday, May 20, 2003
Closed Today

This blog is closed today because of the impending final apocalypse.

Tune in tomorrow for a normal post.

posted by Amy on 5/20/2003 04:26:00 PM | link

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Monday, May 19, 2003
What would you do???

Ok...say you are upper middle management. Say your job is to coordinate activities amongst three locations: a "home" location and two satellite locations. Say you sent out a memo to all of your underlings and their site supervisors regarding a specific duty and how it should be preformed.

Now say that your office is right next to the site supervisor's office at the "Home" location. You are sitting there and you hear the site supervisor for the home location tell three of the underlings (and your underlings) on three separate occasions not to read your memo at all because it will "confuse them" and they don't need to know this particular duty that they do hundreds of times a day. Say that this site manager has been there for over 20 years and even though you are higher up than she, she has tried to undermine you since you came on board- mostly because she wanted your job but doesn't have the educational background the company requires for a position like yours and holds it against you constantly. Say that this is your first job in a position like this...say that you have had ENOUGH of this person. Say that you would quit if you didn't need the job just because of this person.

What would you do???

Some suggestions would be greatly appreciated...I have a friend in this situation and she needs help...and I want to help her...but I don't know what to tell her. THANKS

posted by Amy on 5/19/2003 05:10:00 PM | link

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More Notes father is driving me nuts with this new iBook of his...I mean...what did he do with his first pc...not pester me to death on the inner workings...I mean really...It's not like I am asking him to come over on the weekends and harness my electrons, do my wiring etc...why do I have to teach him the ins and outs of mac usage. It drives me absolutely batty. I think the least he could do is give my car an oil change and a filter (both oil and air) for free...but I doubt that will happen...he likes to say "I don't know anything about servicing foreign cars." Come different could it be???
This is a story I am posting for is the story of a beagle who traveled 20 miles a day...and somehow made his way from Kansas to Alabama.
I am currently reading THE GUARDIAN by Nicholas is much different than his usual tear jerker novel...this one has some mystery to it. I am just over half way done and I just started it yesterday while doing my laundry...this means it must be good. My favorite line so far comes from the prologue and it is: "Someone, she thought, bought me a puppy. An ugly puppy." It cracked me up for some reason. Just had to share.
Tomorrow is the series finale of Buffy and I am actually leaving work early for it--I know it sounds crazy but here it starts at 5:00 pm and I work 20 minutes away from home. If I don't I will have to wait to see it to Saturday when they rebroadcast it on our local fox station.
Speaking of local some of you may know- when I moved over to DirectTv from ATT cable my main complaint was lack of network stations. To get network stations currently I have to turn the dish off and use an antenna...which works but is a hassle. Good news from DirectTV is that by the end of the year we will have our local network stations available on the dish...yippeee....this is good news because I will be able to watch er without spending a year adjusting the antenna so I see more than snow.
Well- it's a's so not a funday...I should to do some actual work.

posted by Amy on 5/19/2003 11:52:00 AM | link

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Sunday post that was never posted

I never got a chance to post this:


OK...I know I said I would post this last night but I got home later than expected to a puppy that wanted to go to sleep...and is afraid of my laptop. Of course she is also afraid of cardboard boxes but that is another story.
So-the exciting news is...BFM and I are going to Disneyland again- next weekend. We are going to get the best out of those annual passes we have. The week of the 26th was the week we had tentatively planned to go to Las Vegas but I don't think that is going to happen...but DISNEYLAND is...and she is paying for a lovely suite. BFM is wanting to ride the Maliboomer in California Adventure...and I am wanting to try out the new ride the Hundred Acre Wood (yes it is a Winnie the Pooh Ride but it is new) and I want to try the Matterhorn again. I hope that Tess isn't too jealous...I am still on the lookout for that shot glass for you by the way.
Yesterday I told off an exterminator. Well...not exactly. The neighbor was mowing his lawn near by and I was getting some bags out of the Rav when someone comes up behind me and says "EXCUSE ME Ma'am" causing me a start so that I wack my head into the door jam and screech "AHHHHHH!". I rear back and before thinking said quite loudly "You scared the hell out of me." He seemed quite taken aback but then chuckled and said "Well that is what I am doing to day...going around looking to scare people." and then proceeded to ask me if I had been seeing any ants or spiders around and if I did to go ahead and give them a call. I really hate being snuck up on like that...because like my mother I startle easily. It was one of the reasons they reconfigured our offices at work a couple of years ago so that we face out and people aren't walking in behind us...I think that my neighbors in the cube farm were tired of "AHHHH"
Speaking of the Rav it is in desperate need of a bath...I hate to give it one though mostly because it is Black and water spots so easily. I love the RAV but I will never own another black car again...I should have waited for a blue one like I originally liked one.
What did you have for breakfast this morning? I had a bag of peanut butter M&Ms. Talk about the breakfast of champions, huh??? I will say that sometimes you just got a love peanut butter.
Well I guess I should go start my laundry...I was going to do it last night but I just didn't have the chance.

posted by Amy on 5/19/2003 11:25:00 AM | link

Getting Around

about me
email me
AIM: badgruv

"Sometimes- I just have to go off on the stupid"--me

"Great minds think like me"--from ETS

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.
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