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Friday, August 15, 2003
Tell Me A Story: Big Chicken!

A round robin...without the coherent story. The previous entry is: Echoesofadream: The Only One

I am afraid of horses. It doesn't help that my favored stall in the women's restroom at work has several posters of horses adorning the far wall, leftovers from a feeble attempt of a past employee who no longer works here to make the bathroom more home-y and less clinical. I find it creepy personally- but have heard others comment on the cool stallion pictures so I wouldn't even venture to take them down. Luckily other pictures now accompany the stallion pictures. There's a lighthouse, some sea otters and even one of yellow-finned tunas. An odd conglomeration to say the least.

Anyway- I know the exact moment that I became fearful of horses. I was about six or seven- which makes my younger brother about two or three. We had travelled down to a ranch in the far south regions of the county to visit some distant cousins of my father. He goes down there nearly yearly to camp and hunt and carouse with the guys...but I have probably been down there all of about three times...and that includes the time I am about to mention now.

I forget the reason for this particular trip. But I do remember three things about it. A old junker of a jeep carcass sitting in their yard that was great fun to play in- and I spent much of the day and evening in the jeep...playing make believe. I remember my brother sitting in the middle of their long driveway sharing his breadsticks with their dog (a bite for me, a bite for the dog, a bite for me, a bite for the dog). And then there is the baby horse that these relatives of mine owned- cooped up in a corral connected to the barn. I have no idea how old the horse was seemed pretty big to me...and it was obviously old enough to be ridden. The adult men where all standing on the outside of the corral, leaned up against it in true cowboy fashion, talking about the horse and how it would be a great ranch horse as soon as it grew up. I remember thinking that it looked pretty darn big to me already. Some second cousin twice removed but about three or four years older than I, was riding around the pen- with no saddle- just a blanket. It looked like fun and I begged my dad to let me ride the horse.

He was reluctant at first...but finally we were both in the corral and he hoisted me up onto the horse and I was clutching my cousin and off we went riding around and around and around and around. It was fun...until I started to slide off to the right side of the horse. Figuring if I grabbed my much older, larger cousin I could right myself the next thing I knew was bam- I am eating dirt with my much older, larger cousin on top of me and I couldn't breath. It scared the daylights out of me.

It was the first time (not to be the last) I had ever had the wind knocked out of me. Of course, my cousin on top of me didn't help matters. All I remember was hearing the men watching chuckle and laugh and thinking to myself "here
I am being crushed by some distant gargantuan cousin who won't get off of me and I can't even remember his name and I can't breath and were they just going to let me lay here and drown in the dirt."

When he finally rolled off of me and I finally was able to catch my breath I noticed my huge scraped elbow that was bleeding at an alarming rate to my six year old mind...and promptly burst into tears. This elicited more laughs from the men which made me cry even harder and run for the gate. I couldn't reach the I shimmied under the gate and ran to my dad...who lifted me up and sat me on the fence. I yelled and cried "that stupid horse dropped me!"

My dad carried me back to the house and my mom and great aunt patched up my elbow and gave me a cookie and I decided that I was going to stay away from that horse- and go back to playing in the Jeep carcass...which I did and soon forgot about my elbow and the evil minion of a horse. I played in the jeep before dinner and after dinner- and was actually quite happy in it. My mom always said that I had a vivid imagination as a child and could make-believe for hours and hours both alone or with others. I don't remember what I played whilst in the jeep...I played with my brother and some other cousins (more directly related ones whom I saw on a more regular basis than the one who landed on me).

During dinner from the kids table- I could here them laugh and tell my aunts how I slipped off the horse and pulled my cousin down on top of me. Amid all this I snuck back outside and took solace in the jeep carcass...and soon the cousins followed and we were playing again. Only this time the cousin who landed on me was there too...I told him that I didn't like his stupid mean horse and he laughed and said "You're a baby chicken aren't you???"

Somehow this manifested itself into a fear of horses. I am not sure how...but for awhile I wouldn't willingly even go near one. Last year though, during the ren fair- I made myself proud. After the joust I went up to the winning knight and pet his horse. Hey...that was an improvement for me.

posted by Amy on 8/15/2003 01:39:00 PM | link

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Thursday, August 14, 2003
Thought for the moment

If your dog, say a beagle, destroys the disk that you saved your blaster deworming and patch tools on...can you consider your beagle dewormed. LOL.

posted by Amy on 8/14/2003 06:53:00 PM | link

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Do You Want To Play A Game? or Interview Me!

Courtesy of Matron

This is a lot more fun then the average blog game because it makes you think so I decided to give it a go...if you want to join in, read on

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

My questions from Matron/Benway.

1. If you were offered a million dollars to be a surrogate Mum, would you do it?
In one word...YES. I would. I would probably do it for less. I mean...I would get to experience pregnancy and not actually have to raise the child. Not that I am offended by raising children but right now I don't have the two key incredients needed: a man I love and the financial stability to do it. And if I got a million dollars- I would then be financially stable and could look into raising a child myself...unless in the process I found a great man.
2. Would you attempt the kind of tasks they have in 'Fear Factor'?
I would attempt some of them. I am not saying I would do well in them but I would attempt them sure. Of course- they have those evil ones dependent on height- and those I would not even attempt. When I attempted to face my fear of heights in November I ended up crying on a Ferris I am not quite ready for those. As long as it didn't involve height, spiders or bees I would probably attempt it. I think I would probably do best at the swimming ones.
3. What's the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten?
Hmmm...this is a hard one. It would depend on what you consider disgusting. When I was a child the most disgusting thing I ever ate was a dog biscuit. I figured if the dog liked them they must be good. They weren't. As an adult...I would say barbequed sweet bread aka the thymus gland of a cow. It was actually pretty tasty...but nearly everything taste good grilled, doesn't it?
4. Would you give your Mum the nitty-gritty details of your sex life?
I can answer this one with two words...HELL NO! I love my mom...and we are close...but ya know...there are just some things the parents don't need to know...even your mom. Now...I have friends with whom I could discuss this...but to quote that show Dinosaurs....not the mommy, not the mommy, NOT THE MOMMY!!!!
5. If you were a member of a jury and had to pass judgement on someone who you knew had committed a serious crime, but you knew they were innocent of the crime they were charged with, would you find them guilty?
Ahh...I knew there was going to be a sticky morals question stuck in here somewhere. This one made me think long and hard...and I would have to say that I would probably not find them guilty...because that is not the crime they were being tried for. Really it is nearly impossible to answer a question like this without being in the situation...but I am going to say that I would be able to find the individual NOT GUILTY because he was NOT GUILTY of the crime I was sitting on the jury for. However, I feel that it would really depend on the situation...especially if I gained knowledge of this crime first hand...or if this crime that the individual was guilty of had was perpetuated on me or someone I am close to...I can't say I would be as bold.


posted by Amy on 8/14/2003 05:04:00 PM | link

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I went to Starbucks this morning and when I parked, I parked next to this really ratty ancient-looking Volkswagon rabbit that was this odd green color. Anyway, when I got out I noticed a sticker in the window that said "this car is protected by lizard" I chuckled to myself and carried on to get my delightful frap (which turned out not to be so delightful...blech on the malt ones) and a gift card. Anyway...I order my drink and wait and get it and leave...on the way out there is this woman...kinda scary looking lady with a freakin' 4-foot lizard in her jacket showing it off to some prep school kids and I hear her say as I walk by "I keep him covered in my jacket because I don't like to scare people."

When I was backing out I noticed that the VW Rabbit had lizard prints on the back end of it.


posted by Amy on 8/14/2003 12:40:00 PM | link

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Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Already sucky day gets even worse

Ok...we are under complete attack by this damn worm...I mean our campus has been hit very hard. Minutes ago I found out that mother/daughter dinner has been cancelled because of some evil dinner in a city an hour away...the is strike two...because if you remember during the weekend it was cancelled too. Probably isn't gonna happen. Now I am gonna have a left over linguini and if I am still feeling sorry for myself I am going to drive through and get a big gooey ice cream or something...

BAH on shitty days.

Update: My crappy day apparently has made it's way to my voice. Someone just called (about a problem other than the WORM---I was stoked) and said to me:"Oh...Amy, you sound tired, probably all this worm stuff, isn't it?" Urg.

posted by Amy on 8/13/2003 04:14:00 PM | link

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Damn Worms! or Why I Love my Macintosh

We have been hard hit by that damn blaster worm. I don't understand why people make these. I really really don't. All it does is make us all even more stressed than we already are...especially in a university environment. My PC has been rendered useless this morning.

I love my good old worm free macintosh.

posted by Amy on 8/13/2003 10:37:00 AM | link

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Three Cds, One Movie, and some ruminations

Where your esteemed hostess reviews three cds, one movie and then ruminates on things.
Let's start with the three newest cd's in my collection: the Slaughter Remasters: Stick It To You Remastered and The Wild Life Remastered. And the Poison cd: Best of Ballads and Blues.

Now the Slaughter Remasters are not new albums so to speak...they are the bands first two releases...remastered in 24-bit with new liner notes written by Mark and Dana as well as demos of some of the songs not included on the original releases. I must say that I enjoyed the new liner notes...and the new pictures. It was nice having the demos- it is interesting to hear slightly different versions of the songs that made me fall in love with the sound of Slaughter. I was especially fond of the She Wants More Demo. In the liner notes it mentions a DVD to be release soon. I can't wait for that. I personally hope that it contains the old home videos with some new stuff too. It was also good because who knows where my original copies are.

The Poison CD Best of Ballad and Blues is great. I was a little leary of purchasing it but then BFM told me that there is an alternated version of "Something to Believe In" with completely different lyrics. So I bought it. The CD is great...and includes my favorite Poison ballad ever "I Won't Forget You". Now I have something to say about this alternate lyric version of "Something to Believe In" I really don't like it as a stand alone song. It is a o.k. accompaniment to the original because it is more depressing and more about someone who had nothing to believe in. I don't know which some was original but I am glad they didn't release the alternate version by itself.
The movie: An American Wedding. The verdict...extremely funny. The best American Pie movie yet. It is the best movie. I nearly peed right there in the theater,,,several times. It was a "grab the person your with because it is that funny" movie. It is so a must see. SEE IT. NOW!!!!

The other day I was home alone and decided to pop in a DVD. I nearly watched ALMOST FAMOUS (my favorite movie) again...but decided to watch my ORANGE COUNTY DVD instead. My god...I had forgotten how good that movie is. If you haven't seen it- I highly suggest renting it. Very good.

Speaking of Orange County there is also a tv show by that name on FOX...I have not seen it but it has nothing to do with the movie.

Well...I don't have much more to has been so busy lately.

posted by Amy on 8/13/2003 10:22:00 AM | link

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Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Tell Me A Story: Diamonds for Teeth!

A round robin...without the coherent story. The previous entry is: Echoesofadream: Remembering the Grandpas

I have come to the conclusion that every family has some sort of secret, shame or humiliation that they want to stifle from becoming public knowledge. I can see the reason for this...the entire world doesn't need to know that your uncle smokes pot on a regular basis or that cousin Edward left his wife for another man. However- how a family deals with this information within the internal familial unit is something that intrigues me immensely.

I happen to feel that I have two families...both of which I love and care about. I have my family- composed of blood relatives and their kin. I also have BFM's family...who have known me for years as her best friend...have seen me at family functions and generally probably consider me to be something of a distant cousin in some senses. The way these two family's deal with these secrets is completely opposite.

I know nearly everything about BFMs family. I know those little secrets that might make some of them cringe...because her family believes that everyone within the familial unit should know what is going on. Why Betty divorced Dan...why Joe is in Jail...that David is not really Noah's father and that Noah's real father isn't a very nice person at all...I know these things...because they tell everything to each other. This is the way I wish my family was.

My family is the complete opposite. They are so tight-lipped about these kind of things that I am surprised that they all don't have diamonds for teeth. Case in point. My paternal grandfather died of cancer in April of 1995. When this happened my father (his only son) was flabbergasted to find out that both of his parents had been married to others and gone through respective divorces. finding something out like this when you are in your late forties is quite a shocker.

My grandmother will not talk about it. I mean- will NOT talk about it and if you bring it up...suffer the wrath of pissed off Grandma...and no one wants to suffer that...because frankly...grandma can be a little mean. Rumor has it that they met each other (my grandparents) in RENO- when back then you could go there for a quickie divorce. Both were there for such a reason and this is how they met. This is the whole reason that no one knows the real story as to how they met...or any of those normal stories that are passed on from generation to generation. Also...when my aunt (his eldest daughter) was divorcing from her first marriage they apparently gave her a seriously hard time about getting a divorce and how it make the family look and such. We don't know either of their former spouses names...or for certain if there where no other children involved...NOTHING of these people. NOTHING. Not even a name. When my other aunt got divorced (his youngest) he was already gone...but there are only reasons about what happened there? Why they suddenly up and divorced. No reason at all...we are left to wonder about possible infidelities or worse...If you ask is all run around. The secrets are even heavy within direct family units...Don't tell your father this, Don't tell your brother that...and so on.

Personally I don't think all the secrets and tight-lippedness. I don't think it is healthy. I can't change things with them. They are set in their ways by now. But I can start with me.

posted by Amy on 8/12/2003 06:40:00 PM | link

Getting Around

about me
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AIM: badgruv

"Sometimes- I just have to go off on the stupid"--me

"Great minds think like me"--from ETS

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.
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